There’s a new mobile game available called “Heads Up.” Apparently Ellen had it on her show. Anyway, my family downloaded it and has been playing. Basically the premise of the game is you first hold the phone/tablet to your forehead, a word or description of an object appears, and the rest of your team gives you verbal and nonverbal clues related to the item on your forehead. Once you guess the answer, you can move on to the next item by tilting your head down. If you can’t guess it, you can tilt your head up to pass.

With several categories to choose from such as Animals (Dale’s favorite), I love the 90s, Sports, etc., I have to admit this game is really a lot of fun to play. What’s even more fun, though, is playing with Dale. Dale is by far the worst clue-giver and guesser in the world. And this makes him awesome.

To show you what I mean, let’s play a sample round. I’ll give you the category and the clue, and see if you can guess the answer.

Category: Fictional Characters

Dale’s clue: “Oh no! You can’t scratch your ass! You can’t scratch your ass!” Bends over and pantomimes raking his index finger across his anus.


Answer: Captain Hook.

This one confused me a little and I was unable to guess it. Not only can Captain Hook scratch his ass, I feel like out of all fictional characters, he is the one who is best suited to perform any ass-scratching related activities.


Category: Animals

Dale’s Clue: “Ugly mother fucker! Big fucking hippopotamus!”


Answer: Rhinoceros

After spending 27 years around Dale, I’ve been told that I can “speak Dale.” As such, I got this one immediately.


Category: Animals

Dale’s Clue: “Big fucking monkey! A big fucking monkey!” Jumps up and puts his arms out like a monkey.


Answer: Gorilla

He actually did a pretty good job describing this one. I was able to guess it rather quickly.




As you can tell, Dale’s primary strategy for giving clues is shouting the same (or similar) profane phrase at you until you guess it. But how does he do as the guesser? Again, see if you can guess the answers based on the clues.


Category: Fairy Tales

My Clue: “A story about a guy who’s name is this: ” Point at my thumb.


Correct Answer: Tom Thumb

Tom Thumb is relatively obscure, so this one was a challenge.  Thumbelina would have been a reasonable guess. Jack Horner would have even been a decent guess. I would have expected that. However, I did not expect Dale’s answer.


Dale’s Answer: Thumbelstiltskin

Ah yes, Thumbelstiltskin. The classic tale of the thumb-sized creature who can spin straw into gold, and is willing to give you his fortune if you can only guess his name. Good thing Dale never had to guess his name…


Category: Animals

My Clue: “This is a bird that is popular to hunt”


Correct Answer: Pheasant

Again, this one is semi-tricky. “Pheasant” is definitely not the first animal that comes to mind.


Dale’s Answer: Pecan

Pecans: the most dangerous game. What I really liked about this one is that Dale excitedly yelled out “Pecan!” and immediately tilted his head down to score a point and move on to the next word. We all yell dumb things in the heat of guessing, but there was no recognition on his part that this was a terrible guess. He genuinely believed “Pecan” was the answer.


Category: Places

My Clue: “The only U.S. state that starts with the letter ‘L’”


Answer: Louisiana

Technically my clue is cheating as you’re not allowed to use letters, but after “Pecan” I figured we could toss him a soft-ball. This one is pretty easy right. After all, there’s only one U.S. State that starts with “L”. Wrong. You’re forgetting about…


Dale’s Answer: “L”inois (Illinois).

I guess in all fairness, the capital “I” does look like a lowercase “l”




However, the next exchange that took place while Dale was guessing by far my favorite.


Category: Animals


Clue 1: “Baaaaaa” imitating a bleat


Dale Response 1: “Lamb!”


Clue 2: “Close. Baa Baa …” Baas performed to the tune of “Baa Baa Black Sheep”


Dale Response 2: “Goat!”


Clue 3: “No. Where do you get wool from?”


Dale Response 3: “The store!”


Clue 4: “No. It’s an animal. Where do you sheer wool” Pantomimes sheering wool using index finger and middle finger as sheers.


Dales Response 4: “A sweater!”


[Timer Expires]


Dale: “What was the answer?”


Everyone in the room: “Sheep!”


Dale: “Well why didn’t you say ‘butt fuck’? I would have gotten it immediately.”


I don’t even want to know…

Heads up, Dale! Dale speculates about fictional characters’ ass scratching capabilities.
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